It’s a Bugs Life

I would like to say I just got back from three months in some exotic location where I couldn’t update my website. But unless you think Walla Walla or California are exotic I can’t say that.

To cheer up my apartment I decided to buy a grow light and try to grow some tomatoes. I got them planted right after Christmas and they are happy and growing, I also bought a couple of other plants to keep them company. I am not sure who the offender was but one of them came with gnats.

About a month and a half ago I saw one flying around my apartment and thought “huh, its like I’m in a real garden” and didn’t bother to try and track it down and kill it. That was mistake number one.

A couple of weeks after that I was infested with gnats, I would sit down by the plants every day and kill all that I saw and they still kept coming. Finally I got tired of doing that and decided to buy poison to kill them with. I had decided to buy poison so I quit killing them but I didn’t quite get around to actually buying the poison. That was my second mistake.

The gnats got worse I would find them in glasses of water I left out, and they wandered into my ears while I was trying to sleep, finally I can’t take it anymore and I go get poison. Now this is in my apartment so I am a little hesitant to start flinging strong poison around willy nilly. I find this bottle that says it is “safe”, I like safe that is good, so I read the active ingredient, canola oil, and think hey it really is safe. Now I didn’t know canola oil killed bugs but I said it right there on the bottle in big colorful letters, who am I to argue with the advertising firm who designed this bottle?? That was my third mistake.

So needless to say the canola oil did not work. Turns out if I eat it, it probably isn’t going to kill too many bugs, so back to the store. This time I know what I am after, the tried and true Sevin garden insecticide. I coat all of my plants with a liberal helping of the white powder and wait.

There are now fewer bugs in the apartment, but not quit as few as I was hoping for, that being zero. I have decided I am infested with mutant gnats who will, along with cockroaches, take over the word after humans have made it uninhabitable through pollution or nuclear war.